So I am not in the best place. Not at the worse either. i feel like im just stuck. Can't move. Im at a dead end woth no u-turns.
First, I was asked to write an article to raise awareness on eating disorders...which I was pretty excited about, and others - well not so much. We ended up getting into this big fight (two people) and they decided to stop talking to me because of it. Everyone else said it was good and inspiring. But I am a people pleaser and frankly its really bothering me that they refuse to talk to me anymore. I think its kinda immature, and i am trying so hard to not let it get to me. as it has nothing to do with me. I mean i didnt go to the magazine asking, they came to me. And I always wanted to share my story to touch someone who is struggling or someone who has a loved one who is. A lot of people are saying its jealously. but im not too sure.
I also got a job. It is going okay, good pay for not a lot of work. but my boss has anger issues and I tend to flashback when I am anywhere near anger. I just dont mangage well. When I do I cut. So that has helpde with my depression as I have been really depressed. But it nondepressed state didnt last long. As I am still not in school and still not driving. Still not back home. Apprently because of the seizures I have to wait a year to drive (i thought it was 6 months). My mom said I could come home in Oct well oct is almost here and she pushed the date back...and school. My school offers classes online that I could do but I have always worked my butt off in school and I deserve to walk with a class and not get my degree in the mail. Thats the one thing that I feel like I DO deserve and even that I can't get.
And i was trying to get a treatment team together to find out that my mom took me off her insurance...but luckily i already have a therapist and she recommended this dietician to me who is willing to work with me and shes the only one around here that knows about anorexia.
