I know I havent posted in a while. That's because I havent had private time to do so. My sister is no longer working (because of a shoe issue at work and being 9 months pregnant) so she is with me alllll day and my mom and Bill are with me at night. I feel like they are breathing down my back. Today being a good example...
Ok so last night (when I started to feel myself boil) my sister had a friend over and everytime I walked near her my sister was whispering then said "shes coming just so you know" So im like wtf are you talking about me I have done nothing but try to help you out lately and you are telling other people crap about me?? nice! thanks for the love and support!
Still annoyed with last night I am in a somewhat bad mood though I am playing it off. Well my stepdad is on my case about going out. Like sorry I dont want to go out every single weekend, plus i dont really have extra money to be spending unless my disability increases to pay my never ending medical bills. Anyway, he says "Nothing changed but the walls" I was like really, ok maybe you dont understand but I have been alone more since ive been back, i have been eating a hell of a lot more and serving and cooking for myself. ALL of which I havent done in 3 years...so yea nothing changed. I was hurt like here I am really struggling and its still like nope not good enough-fail! So I walk away and go for a run but my mom is like no lets talk. I want to talk blah I was like no back off...so I go for a run to come back to my mom waiting for me in my room to talk about what had happened. I was crying and right away she mentions everything I had written in my journal right before i left for the run so then im pissed that she read that Oh to top it all off my mom weighed me this morning and officially locked LOCKED the fricken scale and took the key. Which my spnspor swears my HP was working through my mom to take the scale away since that fast I was weighing myself maybe 5 times a day again.
Then my sponsor has also been on my case. You need to get to a meeting. So I finally do (which try to tell her i just move and cant make it yet is apparently making an excuse) and shes doesnt go!!! So im there with my mom, to then text my sponsor saying I went and she then decided to harp on me about going to one everyday just like give me a break....
Heres a hint for everyone right now...THIS IS MY (MYYYYY) JOURNY, SO BACK OFFFFF!
