Seriously what the hell is wrong with people? Why can't they understand that I am listening to my team. I am doing what I am suppose to according to them...but apparently that makes me a "dumb bitch who is stuck in her eating disorder making excuses to restrict"...First off they dont want me being overwhelmed with the amount food I should eat and end up purging because I have thrown up blood, so yes purging is more dangerous for me right now...Second off, this is the most I have ever eaten in a long time...yes I realize its still not a healthy amount but it is what I am comfortable eating right now. And news flash I am not inpatient. im outpatient so obviously my progress is going to be different. And I didn't post my food on facebook for praise...i posted it because I didn't feel guilt afterwards which was a big deal for me...And here is another tip....every person is different what worked for you might not work for me. We have different teams, different eating disorders, and different recoveries. So I fucking give up on what you think. I mean who are you really? You are nothing to me and its not going to piss me off anymore.
Anyway....I had therapy today and my therapist was actaully very distracted today, it was kind of funny. I told her , "Hey, you are the therapist you are suppose to be here" haha. I seriously don't know where she was today,she seemed more focused on what i wrote in my journal that what I was saying, but I guess it is okay considering what I write is usually what we end up talking about.
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