Life

Life. Has thrown me a lot of ups and downs lately. I don't know how much longer I can manage.

My grandmom is in the hospital, and my sister asked me to send her a video of her since she is 3 hours away....so I did, then everyone wanted to see it. So I posted it. Well that turned around and stabbed me in the back. My sister ended up sending the video to my dad and my dad reported it. He could have called us but no he had to report it. So now there is a legal suit going on. Just what everyone needed...and its like ok where have you been to even care. Last time I checked you seen her once since she was in the hospital. I confronted my sister on it, because she is the only one in the family who talks to them and of course she is denying it. She never seen a video, she tells my mom...she tells me she doesnt remember it and she got a new phone so she cant see it again...flat out lying to everyone. All i know is if she wants info on her she has to either come up and see her or ask dad...who tells her that he goes everyday...she isn't going to get anything from me to turn around and bite me in the ass. Maybe its harsh, but im so tired of being everyone's goddamn victim...i have enough going on and  I cant deal with it anymore.  My mom even said ever since she started talking to dad again is when she started lying, being sneaky, pushing people away and always on edge...hate to say it but im honestly at a point where I want nothing to do with her.

Anyway. I am going home on July 1st =) Denise will do skype sessions with me until I get a new therapist, and until i know she is a keeper. Even offered to help me look for one. I already know I am going to have a hard time finding someone new, nobody is going to compare to denise....my aunt said I have to keep an open mind. Denise I feel like she cares more about me than the money though. She takes time out of her life to do things for me. Or to understand me more. I have had many out patient therapists and never had a good experience until Denise...who oddly enough doesnt specialize in eds and she is the one who has helped me the most...she focuses on the problem and not the behaviors so im able to actually work through things.