Well my grandmom is doing a little better. She is talking again. It nice to hear her and to be alert. Though she is still out of it. Today she didnt eat much and when we said something to her she said "Well when you get your tonsils out..." We were like uhhh you didnt get your tonsils out haha. They are trying to wean her off the oxygen she lasted a day before she needed to be put back on it. My aunt keeps saying that when she is home she is going to take her off one medicine...I keep aruging with her saying the doctors know what is better for her, taking her off a med can be dangerous and harmful! but im nobody.
Also my sister, decided to work things out with her husband (if I didn't write it before...he texted her saying sorry he made a mistake) so they are going to try to work on things...which means NO MOVING INTO DADS =)
On the down side, Denise wants me in IOP. As fast as it was said it was refused. Not happening sorry. Yea ive been pretty bad for a little while now but a lot of things have been going on. Not that I am making an excuse its just right now its not that I dont want recovery its just not on my mind right now. To feel that pain on top of all the pain of what is already going on. I am also pretty sure my sponsor might drop me soon. She hasnt said anything but she has been getting pretty mad and stern with me, and she already threaten its once 2 years ago. Even denise mentioned not working with me anymore, then took it back in a way, I dont know she said something about it then said thats not what she meant...still confused about that one. I honestly think shes not leaving because she knows without her I wont get better, not that im any better now but without someone to hear me out, I will just get worse and fast. She even said "Im not dropping you right now, right now is the time you need me most" Shes pretty cool, she not crazy about that stupid ethnic rule thing my old therapist had and ended up dropping me when i needed her most too, a week after that I was in the hospital haha so sorry tough love with eating disorders don't work!!!!
Anyway today was okay, not good not bad. First day where I didnt get any bad news so its still hopeful. I will keep hanging on and I will be okay!
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