I don't know if it's just because of the extra stress around food durning this time of the year or im just holding everything in again until I explode...either way it's not a fun place to be at. I have this strong urge to literally pull out my hair. I hate this time of year, not only because the added stress and focus on the food which is not fun for someone who has an ed. but because my birthday is coming up, which makes it offical-another year without doing NOTHING with my life...
People are getting to me too. seems like every person knows how to push my buttons its like a little kid hitting all the buttons on the elevator. I feel like Im not being heard. I don't matter. People don't care, won't notice. The one person who I have grown to accept as my chosen sister well she's kinda leaving...I mean I get that she is having a hard time right now with her own issues but how can I not take it personal when a month has passed and we barely talk now when we talked everynight and its like pulling teeth out trying to get her to open up. And that's if it last more than 5 mins now...I knew this was going to happen, for her to get better and then me still struggling and leaving because im too triggering. But she says its not the case, well sure feels the same but you dont want me feeling abandoned but I feel like im being blown off all the time now and it hurts just the same amount.
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