Need a break

(P.S im sticking out my tongue, my lips aren't that big haha)

Here it is. I was going to post this picture on facebook, but I didn't want to get questions or concerns. But I wanted to talk about hair. In our society hair is very important. If you don't have any, then people just assume your sick. Sometimes that is the case, sometimes its not. For example, When I first started losing my hair, my close friend megan shaved her head to make me feel less awkward. I am not saying I am bald, im not but I def have spots without hair. Anyway, there are ways around it, like hair extentions or wigs. Which I have them both, and though you can't tell if you get the right color, you can tell when your hair randomly grows inches over night....

Anyway, today was uhh hectic? Not so much with having things to do but emotionally hectic. I have lots of reasons to cry, but I just cry at a drop of a hat. Not thinking about anything, nothing was said or done to me, I just find myself crying a lot. I guess its a good thing, but it is still embarrassing and annoying. Today my aunt came up to me and asked what was wrong, I am sobbing and I say "I don't know" haha I think my head is just overwhelmed with everything, not being at work, letting go of my ed, moving back home, not being able to go back to school, all this medical stuff that is going on (STILL spitting up blood and NOW apparently paralysis in my legs). Again like I said I know have reasons or the right to sit and cry, but I would like some warning before hand. Anyway, still on track, I followed my meal plan and surprisingly wanted to eat more than that (I know its okay if I do because I am still on a restricted plan) but I stopped myself, which I was relieved about it. It was like yes I am still on track but at least I know I could still stop myself if I or ed wanted/needed. So I guess it was more like a comfort. I have a feeling people are going to read this and think I am restricting. I did follow my plan though...

Also to the people who constantly talk to me to start a fight, can you please stop? I have a few people in mind, that when I do hear from them, its just to start a fight with me. Honestly, I can't handle it anymore I have  enough going on that I dont need to worry about what you think or disagree with. I am not saying stop talking to me, but if it comes down to nothing but fights all the time, I will have to protect myself. Most of the fights aren't even my fault, meaning the fights are about something I dont have control over...I just I need a break. I need someone to say "Forget them, you are doing awesome work" Even if they don't think I am, maybe you can look where I am coming from, and not the expectations of me, because just this past week I feel like I have come a long way, not only with my eating but in other areas. I can't let it get me down anymore, I don't have the time...