Things have to get better

So I had therapy today which was over the phone so I don't think it was that productive. She was overly concerned that I exercised last night, I really don't see it a a big deal I mean yes I exercised but it wasnt my normal 3-5am. I don't think what I did last night was excessive and I thought it would be okay because I didn't get my walks or yoga in ...Denise wasn't happy with me told me that I am allowed to walk with an extra ensure if I'm allowed to walk than I should walk and not run or do cardio. She was a bit concerned of that making my Ed voice louder today which it did. I wanted to run today very badly but things didn't work out and I wasn't able to...I guess someone or something just didn't want me to today

Denise also talked about me going back to school and work. I told her how before I was a full time student and a full time worker.she was shocked and said that is tough for someone eating disorder or not... I told her that's how I want it, it keeps me busy and it plays into my self worth. She asked if I could see it as excessive, I said for someone else yes I can see it, for me no... I don't know why I think I'm so different. I told her that I did t before and that's how I want to do it again I know that it's possible for me...she said ,"yea but look how sick you got from an eating disorder" ehhh I guess she has a point, not like I'm going back to school or work anytime soon so I guess it doesn't even matter right now.

On another note, my sister came home from the hospital today. She is on Bed rest though as she is still getting sick and light headed. It sucks she is only 16 weeks in the pregnancy but hopefully things will start to look up soon, gotta have faith that things can turn around and look at the positives at least she is home now