I had denise today and I finally managed (after stalling for two weeks) to give her my meds and my razor blades. I was pulling them out of my bag and she said "Oh wow you do have a lot" haha And she was looking at me, saying how proud she is of me, How this is a big step for me, making things less tempting for me, I told her I think its a good thing but I am a bit overwhelmed right now because what if I do need them??...then she asked about how ed is lately and I told her, " LAST saturday was the last time I purged, and I am trying to follow my meal plan, I am not taking laxs anymore and I am working on the exercise, But I am no longer working out from 3 to 5am" She got teary eyed. She was stoked to hear about this, and thinks not working is part of it. One because I am not near my stressful boss and 2. I have time to work on my things, to go to meetings, etc. Then she asked "Are you okay with me saying I am proud of you or does it make you think oh no im getting better?" Honestly I am okay with it. Yes I am getting better and that is scary but to hear someone say they notice the work im doing and are proud of me for it. I needed to hear it. So I told her I will try to continue this path this week, I honestly don't want to go back to the way I was. It has only been one week without ed, and I am already thinking differently, more people are reaching out to me, and its just after one week!!!!!!!
Seriously, my aunt ughhh im about to snap at her. EVERYTIME we are in the car together she wants to talk about weight loss and food...today she specifically told me what spices will help increase my metabolism and lose weight. Well ed is happy, thinking yay new method!!! but the part of me that is in recovery is like whyyy the hell would you tell me that? itsjust frustrating, and i dont know what to do, I talked to her about it, I ignored it. I seriously think it might be time to stick my hands over my ears and say "lalalala"
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