done

Ok it's a known fact that I have abandonment issues. even if that is not the case if you say you need a break from me im sorry that is what i related it too. I have a father who left me. A parent should never leave their child. And everytime someone leaves even if its tempority that is how I feel. Like I did something wrong for them to leave. And all I do is be honest. I know that is wrong but its just how I feel.

I care about others more than  I care about myself and for someone to sit there and question that  if I care about them or not hits hard. It means im not doing a good job and showing them that but I think I need some slack as I was not shown that I was cared or loved about when i was growing up. I am trying.

I know I am triggering. But I can't do this to myself anymore. So im thinking i just need to stop talking. stop breathing. I am single handly ruining all the relationships i have left. And I can't deal with getting hurt anymore. I just dont think trying a wack at life isnt worth it anymore is all I am doing is triggering others and im getting hurt, bringing others down with me. And everything I say being taken the wrong way. i just i can't do it anymore. im sorry, this isn't because of you as I know you are going to take this that way its just something for me. Its to take away and to keep away the pain.