My boss is really pissing me off anymore. I think he wants to see how much he can push my limit. Today he was yelling at me, acting like I wasn't working because I was talking to someone which by the way, was work related, and he kept going and going, So I walked away, guess what, he follows me! So I said something and he replied back and I was about to yell (ME YELL HAVE ANGER WHAT IS GOING ON???????) Then I bit my tongue and thought no I would like to keep my job for the time I have left up here. And my cousin and John look at me and say, "he's being a dickhead today" Seriously though he needs to back off me, I am doing my job, sorry today I wasn't as fast as normal but I have a broken finger, (confirmed) so it's kinda hard to be able to grasp the books without being in pain.
Then I have a seizure, yup again. I was sent home yet again. I had one on Monday night and was sent home early and was told to take Tuesday off, then I have one today and they let me leave early again. The whole thing is weird. I always used to get them when I was sleeping, or I knew it was coming, not anymore. It just happened. No warning and wide awake at work for the 2nd time at work this WEEK So I know things are getting bad, but I think emotions play a part of it. I mean I know I get seizures because of my purging, but it seems lately that when I am overwhelmed I get them more. So I might not tell my team about this one, as when I told Joy on Wed she freaked out because she apparently didn't know that I was still getting them. And denise doesn't like the fact that I work with machines and it can be dangerous. But in the end I guess they will find out, I will write in my journal about it and my therapist reads this. She also has the link to this, but I don't know if she actually reads it.
I am also super paranoid lately. I get scared way too easily. Like I haven't talked to my sponsor today, and she didn't reply to a text and right away I thought what did I do, I did something shes mad...but she said I did nothing. She's just busy. which is always the case, she is always busy and I KNOW this!!! So I am not sure why it's effecting me so much lately...I know I am superrrr needy right now, I know I am not getting my needs met but I am just going through a lot right now. It's too much to handle on my own and I don't know if I can keep going like this.
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